home is where the heart is.

So I still don't think it is really sinking in yet. I mean here I am, a homeowner. I'm not sure how old most people are when they buy their first home, or what a typical first home is like. I have been told this isn't a first-home type of home, but I don't want one to live in for two or three years and then upgrade. I want a home to make my home, a nest.

I think my desire for a home has a lot to do with not feeling like I have a "home". I lived in Houston until I was almost 13. Then I moved to Austin. I went to boarding school and so the house my mother had in Austin was one I really only lived in for a couple of years and summers. But now she lives in Florida in a house I have visited for a grand total of maybe 8 days.

A house I've seen for maybe 8 days can't be a "home" and I certainly don't feel like I am going home when I have been there. I needed a home to go to. Right? I mean, most people have a place they think of as "home" or at least I think they do.

So perhaps it is going to take time and making it mine before it sinks in that I have a home. I'll have to rub my heart all over it, since they say home is where the heart is.

Maybe I need to find a neat painting/drawing of a heart to hang on the wall in the meantime.